I was just waking up this yesterday morning when Sam walked in to the bedroom fresh out of the shower.
I was a bit like....ok......I'll have me a piece of that........
All going well, warm up was great, just going for the grand finale............
Jessica aged 10, barges in.
We both jumped ten feet in the air and Miss Jessica says:
" Oh I wont be long, just looking for something, you can get back to your personal life in a minute"
OMFG I laughed till I cried.
Needless to say the the grand finale DID NOT happen.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Samantha, Jessica and Netball
We are a bit of a netball family, hardly surprising really is it.
As with most little sisters, they see their older sisters do something and they want to do it too. Or sometimes they do what YOU believe they want to do!
Under 10 selections where held last week, I asked Samantha and Jessica if they wanted to go, Samantha said yes, and Jess said she didnt really care.
I didnt really listen.
Sometimes being the mum of twins is hard work, heck being a mum to five is hard work.
Well the girls went to trials with another 44 girls, the coaches decided to cut the number to 20, we where to find out on Saturday who made the first cut.
I was a bit worried during the week, what if they didn't get in, what if one did get in and the other didn't?
Well Samantha was selected in the top 20 and Jessica wasn't.
I expected her to be upset, sad, jealous................
Ummmmm she said ' MUM, I DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT'
Oh....................well you did say that really didn't you? And I didn't really listen did I?
As with most little sisters, they see their older sisters do something and they want to do it too. Or sometimes they do what YOU believe they want to do!
Under 10 selections where held last week, I asked Samantha and Jessica if they wanted to go, Samantha said yes, and Jess said she didnt really care.
I didnt really listen.
Sometimes being the mum of twins is hard work, heck being a mum to five is hard work.
Well the girls went to trials with another 44 girls, the coaches decided to cut the number to 20, we where to find out on Saturday who made the first cut.
I was a bit worried during the week, what if they didn't get in, what if one did get in and the other didn't?
Well Samantha was selected in the top 20 and Jessica wasn't.
I expected her to be upset, sad, jealous................
Ummmmm she said ' MUM, I DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT'
Oh....................well you did say that really didn't you? And I didn't really listen did I?
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Sarah And Netball
Sarah has played netball for the last couple of years and has proved to be a great player having represented the NW of Tassie for U12 and then u13 for all Junior State Wide Carnivals. From Devonport to Scottsdale, to Launnie and Hobart we have been there!
After summer holidays she hit the court a little slow and while selected for Div One on Monday nights it was obvious after a game or two that she was out of her league.
So during our recent trip to Hobart we took her into see the Sports Manager for the Australian Cricket team, ok what has cricket got to do with netball, well it doesn't really matter because as a Sports Manager it is Rick's job to assess each sports persons strengths and weaknesses and design the appropriate program.
Sarah has been carefully following his suggested exercises for the last two weeks and on Monday night she played her first Div One game since Easter break.
Well it was like watching ANOTHER girl play. I am absolutely so impressed with how beneficial the exercises have been for her and how much her confidence has again soared, I have little doubt that she will make U14 selections in two weeks! Fingers crossed anyway!
After summer holidays she hit the court a little slow and while selected for Div One on Monday nights it was obvious after a game or two that she was out of her league.
So during our recent trip to Hobart we took her into see the Sports Manager for the Australian Cricket team, ok what has cricket got to do with netball, well it doesn't really matter because as a Sports Manager it is Rick's job to assess each sports persons strengths and weaknesses and design the appropriate program.
Sarah has been carefully following his suggested exercises for the last two weeks and on Monday night she played her first Div One game since Easter break.
Well it was like watching ANOTHER girl play. I am absolutely so impressed with how beneficial the exercises have been for her and how much her confidence has again soared, I have little doubt that she will make U14 selections in two weeks! Fingers crossed anyway!
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Lawn Bowls..... Yes Really
Last Saturday I played lawn bowls, yes really, I figured hey I am a Nanna I can do this!
Actually I was roped into playing by friends at work, we have put two teams in to the Saturday challenge as a lead up to the Corporate challenge on Wednesday nights in a couple of months.
Let me tell you lawn bowls is NOT for the feint hearted. My newly acquired hat comes of to the ladies and men in white. All that leaning and stretching, my poor knees may never be the same.
I had to stretch and radox and even then it took two days until I felt I could bend my legs. I was amazed at the complaining muscles that emerged after our three hour game.
Bowls is definitely not a game for those lacking in eye/hand co-ordination as I discovered, it leads to your team getting absolutely whipped at 66-9, and the club ringing to promise your team a ten point start for the next Saturday.....................oh the humiliation.............
Actually I was roped into playing by friends at work, we have put two teams in to the Saturday challenge as a lead up to the Corporate challenge on Wednesday nights in a couple of months.
Let me tell you lawn bowls is NOT for the feint hearted. My newly acquired hat comes of to the ladies and men in white. All that leaning and stretching, my poor knees may never be the same.
I had to stretch and radox and even then it took two days until I felt I could bend my legs. I was amazed at the complaining muscles that emerged after our three hour game.
Bowls is definitely not a game for those lacking in eye/hand co-ordination as I discovered, it leads to your team getting absolutely whipped at 66-9, and the club ringing to promise your team a ten point start for the next Saturday.....................oh the humiliation.............
Friday, April 20, 2007
Hobart - Day Five
No photos today, our last day and we we went to Salamanca Markets
Ohhhhh an absolute haven of yummy food and fantastic stalls.
I managed to find a couple of books while for the rest of the family it was a culinery delight!
There are food stalls every where, specialised burgers to dippy dogs, gourmet sausages, fresh raspberries, mini pancakes......
The final award went to the Olliebollen ohhhhhhhhhhh YUM!
We have decided Olliebollen will be our New Years food! Every New Years I am going to make Olliebollen in the lead up to the magic hour!
We wandered the markets and then drove home, completely and utterly delighted with our week away, in fact, I am planning our very next trip away already!
Ohhhhh an absolute haven of yummy food and fantastic stalls.
I managed to find a couple of books while for the rest of the family it was a culinery delight!
There are food stalls every where, specialised burgers to dippy dogs, gourmet sausages, fresh raspberries, mini pancakes......
The final award went to the Olliebollen ohhhhhhhhhhh YUM!
We have decided Olliebollen will be our New Years food! Every New Years I am going to make Olliebollen in the lead up to the magic hour!
We wandered the markets and then drove home, completely and utterly delighted with our week away, in fact, I am planning our very next trip away already!
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Hobart - Day Four
Well today we headed of to ZOODOO
Sam and I where a little hesitant, just another wildlife park we thought well I am happy to say its NOT! The staff make it much more than just another park!
We had so much fun here and the girls loved it, some memories made that will be talked about again and again for years to come.
First we visited with all the baby animals in the nursery, these are always my favourites, something about holding a soft little cuddly baby animal that just melts you instantly.
Then of course it was time to visit the out door animals. Emily made friends with a little boy called Edward. The sleepy sleepy koala was just beautiful, we all got to give him a nice pat and he snoozed right through it.
Then the fun began! The Safari! Out to see the Emus and Ostriches who where VERY eager for there first visitors, and feeding of the day. I haven't laughed that much for a very very long time, they came storming towards the bus and Sarah (Miss 14) started squealing, and laughing hysterically and squealing some more. There was no way she was feeding them, but the tour driver managed to get her feeding them with a bucket!
They where really quite full on, and the whole bus was just overcome with laughter every time another one popped their head in searching for another bag of goodies.
We got of to see some smaller farm animals and Sarah got surrounded by some ducks and geese, now Sarah has had a bit of a goose phobia since she was three and got pinched on the bum at the park one day!
My grown up Miss 14 was reduced to a little girl in seconds begging 'Mummy' and 'Daddy' to save her!
The camels and water buffalo where much quieter and definitely politer!
After all that excitement we thought a break for ice-cream was a must do before.....
The miniature horse racing! A mini-track and tiny Shetland ponies who ran a great race!
The girls couldn't miss the opportunity for a picture with this friendly Galah, well except for Sarah she had her fill of all things with feathers for the day!
We headed back into Richmond and went to a park for some lunch, we where surprised to discover we where lunching next to Australia's Oldest Bridge!
The girls and I then dropped Sam back at the unit and went to do some shopping, a girly girl afternoon!
Sam and I where a little hesitant, just another wildlife park we thought well I am happy to say its NOT! The staff make it much more than just another park!
We had so much fun here and the girls loved it, some memories made that will be talked about again and again for years to come.
First we visited with all the baby animals in the nursery, these are always my favourites, something about holding a soft little cuddly baby animal that just melts you instantly.
Then of course it was time to visit the out door animals. Emily made friends with a little boy called Edward. The sleepy sleepy koala was just beautiful, we all got to give him a nice pat and he snoozed right through it.
Then the fun began! The Safari! Out to see the Emus and Ostriches who where VERY eager for there first visitors, and feeding of the day. I haven't laughed that much for a very very long time, they came storming towards the bus and Sarah (Miss 14) started squealing, and laughing hysterically and squealing some more. There was no way she was feeding them, but the tour driver managed to get her feeding them with a bucket!
They where really quite full on, and the whole bus was just overcome with laughter every time another one popped their head in searching for another bag of goodies.
We got of to see some smaller farm animals and Sarah got surrounded by some ducks and geese, now Sarah has had a bit of a goose phobia since she was three and got pinched on the bum at the park one day!
My grown up Miss 14 was reduced to a little girl in seconds begging 'Mummy' and 'Daddy' to save her!
The camels and water buffalo where much quieter and definitely politer!
After all that excitement we thought a break for ice-cream was a must do before.....
The miniature horse racing! A mini-track and tiny Shetland ponies who ran a great race!
The girls couldn't miss the opportunity for a picture with this friendly Galah, well except for Sarah she had her fill of all things with feathers for the day!
We headed back into Richmond and went to a park for some lunch, we where surprised to discover we where lunching next to Australia's Oldest Bridge!
The girls and I then dropped Sam back at the unit and went to do some shopping, a girly girl afternoon!
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Hobart - Day Three
Today was a visit to the historic Port Arthur. About an hour drive from Hobart we set of at about 10am. The drive there was lovely, you really travel through some beautiful areas, it was a littlewindy for the last 20kms and Sarah who is suffering from a head-cold really felt yucky for most of that 20kms.
Admission for Port Arthur depends on what tours etc you choose to do while you are there. We opted for the $55 family ticket whichgave us entrance, admission to all buildings, a guided walking tour and a harbour cruise.
Port Arthur is a full day trip, no doubt about it, there is so much to see and do, it is completely fascinating.
Here are the girls on the boat cruise
The Isle of the Dead - where all the convicts where buried
Next stop? ANTARCTICA - yep sail right on out there
There are so many buildings in Port Arthur to look at, my favourite was the church which is just behind the governors gardens, it was so peaceful
One of the walkways
No trip to Port Arthur would be complete without a moment to reflect on the terrible tragedy that occur ed there on the 28Th April, 1996. The Port Arthur Massacre claimed 35 lives and left 37 people wounded. You can click the link if you want to know more about it. There is a beautiful memorial area in Port Arthur dedicated to not only the people that lost their lives on that day, but also to the injured and those that came to the aid of those needing help in what would have been terrifying circumstances. The memorial is simple yet so utterly perfect in its simplicity it is a touching reminder of something most of us will gratefully never experience or ever truly be able to comprehend.
Admission for Port Arthur depends on what tours etc you choose to do while you are there. We opted for the $55 family ticket whichgave us entrance, admission to all buildings, a guided walking tour and a harbour cruise.
Port Arthur is a full day trip, no doubt about it, there is so much to see and do, it is completely fascinating.
Here are the girls on the boat cruise
The Isle of the Dead - where all the convicts where buried
Next stop? ANTARCTICA - yep sail right on out there
There are so many buildings in Port Arthur to look at, my favourite was the church which is just behind the governors gardens, it was so peaceful
One of the walkways
No trip to Port Arthur would be complete without a moment to reflect on the terrible tragedy that occur ed there on the 28Th April, 1996. The Port Arthur Massacre claimed 35 lives and left 37 people wounded. You can click the link if you want to know more about it. There is a beautiful memorial area in Port Arthur dedicated to not only the people that lost their lives on that day, but also to the injured and those that came to the aid of those needing help in what would have been terrifying circumstances. The memorial is simple yet so utterly perfect in its simplicity it is a touching reminder of something most of us will gratefully never experience or ever truly be able to comprehend.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Hobart - Day Two
Waking up and realising that you have a week stretched out ahead of you that has been bookmarked for just fun is truly blissful!
Today we went to the Cadbury Chocolate Factory for a tour. I am a great lover of Cadbury chocolate so this was a big treat for me. Now I know that not everyone is a fan of Cadburys, but I am yet to discover a chocolate that I like other than Cadburys.
As our visit was so soon after Easter, the girls had written to the Easter Bunny requesting that they only receive an egg or two this year so they where extremely excited to be visiting the factory as well.
If you plan a visit it is essential that you book as they do fill the tours very quickly, believe it or not they manage around 800 YES 800 people a day on their tours! I think they are VERYreasonable in their costs for families, for the six of us it was $31.50 which I thought super cheap considering we where able to eat bucketloads of free samples while waiting for our tour to commence and received
another free sample when leaving, a mini box of chocolate each.
Of course at the end of the tour you can also make purchases from their gift shop, we didn't get a lot, some chocolate for Sam's mum, 3 blocks of family size chocolate wrapped in paper for only $5, some really good bargains to be had!
We couldn't take a camera into the factory, all those chocolate secrets you know, and I forgot to get a picture of the girls at the front of the factory.
Interesting bit of information - Cadburys is NOT Australian, it is actually an English owned company.
We where all impressed with the tour, and the samples and headed back to the unit for some lunch.
After lunch Sam stayed at the unit while I took the girls ice-skating!
Well I havent been on the ice in about 22 years so was a little apprehensive as to how I would go. Sarah, who has only skated once before must be a natural as she glides around everywhere effortlessly. Jessica was skating well after the first half an hour or so and Emily managed after an hour.
Samantha and I , well we took a little longer BUT by the end of the two hour session we managed full circles of the rink without hanging on and even managed to build up some speed!
It was fantastic fun and I am so glad I decided to just get out there and have a go instead of sitting in the observation area with the other parents - they don't know what they missed!
Here's my ice angels:
Sarah 'The Expert Skater' pretending its hard, or copying the expression on my face!
Emily
Samantha just about to fall!
Jessica with some strange lady - ok ok its me but I really hate this picture.
After iceskating we went back to the unit and Sarah babysat while Sam and I went over the road to the Beltana Hotel for a couple of quiet drinks and some adult time.
Today we went to the Cadbury Chocolate Factory for a tour. I am a great lover of Cadbury chocolate so this was a big treat for me. Now I know that not everyone is a fan of Cadburys, but I am yet to discover a chocolate that I like other than Cadburys.
As our visit was so soon after Easter, the girls had written to the Easter Bunny requesting that they only receive an egg or two this year so they where extremely excited to be visiting the factory as well.
If you plan a visit it is essential that you book as they do fill the tours very quickly, believe it or not they manage around 800 YES 800 people a day on their tours! I think they are VERYreasonable in their costs for families, for the six of us it was $31.50 which I thought super cheap considering we where able to eat bucketloads of free samples while waiting for our tour to commence and received
another free sample when leaving, a mini box of chocolate each.
Of course at the end of the tour you can also make purchases from their gift shop, we didn't get a lot, some chocolate for Sam's mum, 3 blocks of family size chocolate wrapped in paper for only $5, some really good bargains to be had!
We couldn't take a camera into the factory, all those chocolate secrets you know, and I forgot to get a picture of the girls at the front of the factory.
Interesting bit of information - Cadburys is NOT Australian, it is actually an English owned company.
We where all impressed with the tour, and the samples and headed back to the unit for some lunch.
After lunch Sam stayed at the unit while I took the girls ice-skating!
Well I havent been on the ice in about 22 years so was a little apprehensive as to how I would go. Sarah, who has only skated once before must be a natural as she glides around everywhere effortlessly. Jessica was skating well after the first half an hour or so and Emily managed after an hour.
Samantha and I , well we took a little longer BUT by the end of the two hour session we managed full circles of the rink without hanging on and even managed to build up some speed!
It was fantastic fun and I am so glad I decided to just get out there and have a go instead of sitting in the observation area with the other parents - they don't know what they missed!
Here's my ice angels:
Sarah 'The Expert Skater' pretending its hard, or copying the expression on my face!
Emily
Samantha just about to fall!
Jessica with some strange lady - ok ok its me but I really hate this picture.
After iceskating we went back to the unit and Sarah babysat while Sam and I went over the road to the Beltana Hotel for a couple of quiet drinks and some adult time.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Hobart - Day One
After a week of tension leading up to Easter with ratty argumentative children I was surprised to find that we managed to pack, clean up the house and leave at around 9am with little fuss and fanfare.
Its about a four hour trip from where we live to Hobart, so a stop along the way was in order, our first is a regular for us at Elizabeth Town Bakery
A fantastic Bakery, with the yummiest selection of food, excellent clean amenities and best of all staff that are always happy and enjoying what they are doing.
Ours was a short stop, a coffee to go was all we wanted and it was lovely, I really enjoy a nice Grinders Coffee
The girls where in fact very good for the drive, certainly showing their ages now and with it their ability to manage a road trip. They had some puzzle books, books and each other to keep amused along the way, and all managed a nap or two as well!
We finally arrived in Hobart and found our apartment with the minimum of fuss, now I had decided on this unit via the Internet with the help of a friend and was absolutely delighted with it. The price was more than reasonable as they have a set family rate ($109/night per family for the deluxe unit) and don't charge that additional $10-15 per child or such silliness which always leaves me feeling quite poor!
The owners where extremely non-intrusive which I really like when I am staying somewhere, the unit and location was just perfect for us and I cant imagine we will stay anywhere else when we are in Hobart again.
Lindisfarne Unit
On arrival Emily and I went for a quick walk to secure some lunch provisions as everyone was starving ~ we left them to unpack. Now just a word of warning if you ever stay here you actually have to turn RIGHT at the end of the street for the short 'stroll' to the shops,don't go LEFT it makes for a rather longer than anticipated walk.
Our afternoon was spent at Putters Mini Golf, now we played mini golf as a family once a few years ago and it was a disaster with the girls losing interest in minutes but this afternoons golfing was a completely different experience. Of course Samantha, Jessica and Emily have had some putting experience of late in their school holiday program but Iwasn't quite aware of just how seriously Samantha and Jessica took the game, it was quite funny.
I have decided that I am not the best putter in the world but it was certainly fun. We only had one calamity at around the ninth hole where Jessica wanted to argue, Sarah wanted to argue and with that I decided I was going home, no way was I spending a week with them fighting! We all recovered quite quickly and moved on to the next hole.
The winner of the afternoon was Samantha, her prize was deciding where we went for dinner!
Here are my little putters:
Sarah with her 'whack them hard attitude'
Samantha looking rather annoyed with me for disturbing her shot.
Jessica who is concentrating too much to strike a pose
And Emily who ALWAYS has time for a photo
Samantha decided to go to Kings all you can eat Buffet for dinner, definitely something for everyone - Chinese, roasts, pasta, seafood, salads, desserts a large selection of food so very easy to keep everyone in the family happy.
The girls where a little food drunk by dessert and tried ice cream on prawn crackers which I am told is simply delicious, I wasn't convinced! After dinner we went back to the unit for a quiet evening, recovering from our too full tummies in preparation for the next days activities!
Its about a four hour trip from where we live to Hobart, so a stop along the way was in order, our first is a regular for us at Elizabeth Town Bakery
A fantastic Bakery, with the yummiest selection of food, excellent clean amenities and best of all staff that are always happy and enjoying what they are doing.
Ours was a short stop, a coffee to go was all we wanted and it was lovely, I really enjoy a nice Grinders Coffee
The girls where in fact very good for the drive, certainly showing their ages now and with it their ability to manage a road trip. They had some puzzle books, books and each other to keep amused along the way, and all managed a nap or two as well!
We finally arrived in Hobart and found our apartment with the minimum of fuss, now I had decided on this unit via the Internet with the help of a friend and was absolutely delighted with it. The price was more than reasonable as they have a set family rate ($109/night per family for the deluxe unit) and don't charge that additional $10-15 per child or such silliness which always leaves me feeling quite poor!
The owners where extremely non-intrusive which I really like when I am staying somewhere, the unit and location was just perfect for us and I cant imagine we will stay anywhere else when we are in Hobart again.
Lindisfarne Unit
On arrival Emily and I went for a quick walk to secure some lunch provisions as everyone was starving ~ we left them to unpack. Now just a word of warning if you ever stay here you actually have to turn RIGHT at the end of the street for the short 'stroll' to the shops,don't go LEFT it makes for a rather longer than anticipated walk.
Our afternoon was spent at Putters Mini Golf, now we played mini golf as a family once a few years ago and it was a disaster with the girls losing interest in minutes but this afternoons golfing was a completely different experience. Of course Samantha, Jessica and Emily have had some putting experience of late in their school holiday program but Iwasn't quite aware of just how seriously Samantha and Jessica took the game, it was quite funny.
I have decided that I am not the best putter in the world but it was certainly fun. We only had one calamity at around the ninth hole where Jessica wanted to argue, Sarah wanted to argue and with that I decided I was going home, no way was I spending a week with them fighting! We all recovered quite quickly and moved on to the next hole.
The winner of the afternoon was Samantha, her prize was deciding where we went for dinner!
Here are my little putters:
Sarah with her 'whack them hard attitude'
Samantha looking rather annoyed with me for disturbing her shot.
Jessica who is concentrating too much to strike a pose
And Emily who ALWAYS has time for a photo
Samantha decided to go to Kings all you can eat Buffet for dinner, definitely something for everyone - Chinese, roasts, pasta, seafood, salads, desserts a large selection of food so very easy to keep everyone in the family happy.
The girls where a little food drunk by dessert and tried ice cream on prawn crackers which I am told is simply delicious, I wasn't convinced! After dinner we went back to the unit for a quiet evening, recovering from our too full tummies in preparation for the next days activities!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Of To Hobart
We are heading of to Hobart today for five days, five days of exciting kids entertainment being on top of the list! Wish me luck, Ill be back Saturday with LOTS of photos.
Monday, April 9, 2007
Slowly Crashing
A few year ago I suffered from depression, it took about six months for me to realise that is what it was, and once diagnosed I realised I had certainly had several untreated episodes of depression since childhood.
The Dr I saw said it would be something I would have for the rest of my life, and in all likelihood I would require medication to control it for the rest of my life.
I suffered from depression and mild anxiety attacks, what some would consider normal everyday situations became impossible mountains in front of me that I couldn't work out how to climb. I can remember a day that I couldn't decide what to cook for dinner, I stood at the freezer pondering the thought for what felt like two minutes, I realised after it was more like two hours and I still never figured it out.
My breaking point came one day at the Roadhouse when a delivery didn't arrive. I snapped, lost it, the whole world went black, it was the beginning of the end.
I spent a lot of time sleeping, sleep was a refuge, I suffered from a constant deep aching tiredness. Or I spent hours on the internet, I escaped into a world where I wasn't judged, bought mountains of clothes on Ebay, and surrounded myself with 'easy' things.very
Somehow, rather robotically I suspect, I managed to fulfil every ones basic needs, and what I didn't do Sam managed to.
I spent nearly three years on medication, the medication worked for me within three or four days, YES that quickly. I can remember driving along one day and thinking it was a beautiful day full of sunshine and hope, I had to pull over because I was laughing and crying too much to drive, it had been a long time since I was filled with happiness and hope for the future like that.
Unfortunately during an extremely bad period in our lives a year or so later I wasn't particularly good at taking my medication and self medicated quite a bit searching for a way to feel better. One tablet for ok days, three for the really bad, mixed in with the lifestyle we had running a hotel at the time it wasn't a good combination.
I have come to realise that not everyone, and certainly not everyone with depression, faces the challenges we did that sad and sorry year and the fact that I walked away from what I did in good health and OFF medication speaks volumes for the inner strength I found and the support of my husband.
For quite a while after that year I felt almost justified in the emotional ups and downs and his and lo's I experienced. And probably quite rightly so.
Its has been 2 years and 3 months since 'the year from hell', and I am starting to feel that the ups and downs should begin to be a piece of the past, something left behind that I don't need to worry about but its just not happening like that.
Increasingly over the last few months I have found that my frustration with the silliest little things builds to an alarming level yet I deal with the 'big' issues quite easily. And that worries me.
I am scared to go back to where I was before.
The Dr I saw said it would be something I would have for the rest of my life, and in all likelihood I would require medication to control it for the rest of my life.
I suffered from depression and mild anxiety attacks, what some would consider normal everyday situations became impossible mountains in front of me that I couldn't work out how to climb. I can remember a day that I couldn't decide what to cook for dinner, I stood at the freezer pondering the thought for what felt like two minutes, I realised after it was more like two hours and I still never figured it out.
My breaking point came one day at the Roadhouse when a delivery didn't arrive. I snapped, lost it, the whole world went black, it was the beginning of the end.
I spent a lot of time sleeping, sleep was a refuge, I suffered from a constant deep aching tiredness. Or I spent hours on the internet, I escaped into a world where I wasn't judged, bought mountains of clothes on Ebay, and surrounded myself with 'easy' things.very
Somehow, rather robotically I suspect, I managed to fulfil every ones basic needs, and what I didn't do Sam managed to.
I spent nearly three years on medication, the medication worked for me within three or four days, YES that quickly. I can remember driving along one day and thinking it was a beautiful day full of sunshine and hope, I had to pull over because I was laughing and crying too much to drive, it had been a long time since I was filled with happiness and hope for the future like that.
Unfortunately during an extremely bad period in our lives a year or so later I wasn't particularly good at taking my medication and self medicated quite a bit searching for a way to feel better. One tablet for ok days, three for the really bad, mixed in with the lifestyle we had running a hotel at the time it wasn't a good combination.
I have come to realise that not everyone, and certainly not everyone with depression, faces the challenges we did that sad and sorry year and the fact that I walked away from what I did in good health and OFF medication speaks volumes for the inner strength I found and the support of my husband.
For quite a while after that year I felt almost justified in the emotional ups and downs and his and lo's I experienced. And probably quite rightly so.
Its has been 2 years and 3 months since 'the year from hell', and I am starting to feel that the ups and downs should begin to be a piece of the past, something left behind that I don't need to worry about but its just not happening like that.
Increasingly over the last few months I have found that my frustration with the silliest little things builds to an alarming level yet I deal with the 'big' issues quite easily. And that worries me.
I am scared to go back to where I was before.
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Beautiful Easter Sunday
We went into Burnie Park for 'Fairies In The Park' and I was sooooo upset I didn't take my camera. It was truly magical, the whole park was an absolute wonderland.
Burnie Park is a truly beautiful park, tall trees, rose gardens, leave covered paths, a pond with a bridge, all the backdrop you need to create a perfect fairy paradise.
The whole park was dotted with different people/events and decorated with flamingo's, large floral arrangements made from multi coloured balloons, everywhere you looked there was more colour and captivating events to see.
One area where the Queen of all the Fairies sat, you could make magical wands with her, get your face painted, make a wish in the magical well or simply sit and listen for a while to the magical melody of a harp being played.
Move on to the bridge over the lake where hundreds upon hundreds of bubbles drifted up in the air while two giant butterfly people danced along the shore, truly magnificent costumes and again I was quite disappointed I had forgotten my camera.
Lots of fairies where running around, playing and dancing with the children and obligingly getting photos taken. There where some surprise visitors - Shrek and Princess Fiona, Bob The Builder, The Cat in The Hat, Bananas In Pajamas, Alice in Wonderland and of course The Easter Bunny handing out Eggs for all the children.
There was a giant slide down the hill, a relaxing solo singer in the outdoor amphitheatre, the mandatory jumping castle.
Move over a little further in the park and you found a gorgeous castle setting worthy of Prince Arthur's time, and lots of young children dressed in traditional garb having mock fighting displays which was being filmed for a movie of some sort.
Different events could be viewed on the main stage every hour or so, including the incredibly funny strong man, poets, jokers and more.
There where some food vans and an ice cream van, and surprisingly a van selling show bags probably the only thing I really didn't think was required and managed to avoid!
The girls just loved it, we just wandered around and drank in the atmosphere, and it was truly a beautiful atmosphere, so many happy relaxed people just delighting in something a little bit different!
Well done to the organisers, a truly gorgeous family outing which didnt cost us a cent!
Next year I will remember the camera!
Burnie Park is a truly beautiful park, tall trees, rose gardens, leave covered paths, a pond with a bridge, all the backdrop you need to create a perfect fairy paradise.
The whole park was dotted with different people/events and decorated with flamingo's, large floral arrangements made from multi coloured balloons, everywhere you looked there was more colour and captivating events to see.
One area where the Queen of all the Fairies sat, you could make magical wands with her, get your face painted, make a wish in the magical well or simply sit and listen for a while to the magical melody of a harp being played.
Move on to the bridge over the lake where hundreds upon hundreds of bubbles drifted up in the air while two giant butterfly people danced along the shore, truly magnificent costumes and again I was quite disappointed I had forgotten my camera.
Lots of fairies where running around, playing and dancing with the children and obligingly getting photos taken. There where some surprise visitors - Shrek and Princess Fiona, Bob The Builder, The Cat in The Hat, Bananas In Pajamas, Alice in Wonderland and of course The Easter Bunny handing out Eggs for all the children.
There was a giant slide down the hill, a relaxing solo singer in the outdoor amphitheatre, the mandatory jumping castle.
Move over a little further in the park and you found a gorgeous castle setting worthy of Prince Arthur's time, and lots of young children dressed in traditional garb having mock fighting displays which was being filmed for a movie of some sort.
Different events could be viewed on the main stage every hour or so, including the incredibly funny strong man, poets, jokers and more.
There where some food vans and an ice cream van, and surprisingly a van selling show bags probably the only thing I really didn't think was required and managed to avoid!
The girls just loved it, we just wandered around and drank in the atmosphere, and it was truly a beautiful atmosphere, so many happy relaxed people just delighting in something a little bit different!
Well done to the organisers, a truly gorgeous family outing which didnt cost us a cent!
Next year I will remember the camera!
Saturday, April 7, 2007
Oh my little teendevil
Teenagers are incredible pieces of work, of course I should know I was probably one of the worst of them. Let me tell you that HAS NOT helped me or given me any dramatic insight into my own teenagers. Well maybe a little as I am certainly more open to discussion than my parents where ever to me, really though they only had me for a couple of months of being an official 'teen' so perhaps I judge them too harshly.
Anyone I digress, this is hardly a post about my own parents because I seriously do not have the time or beverages to blog all of that crap tonight, nor is it about Danielle because at nearly 20 she is rapidly moving beyond 'teenage' though youd never guess based on some of her recent antics.
Sarah - oh dear Sarah, where to start with Sarah. Gorgeous, witty, loud, funny and 14.
Sarah is, and has ALWAYS been a door slammer. No amount of 'please don't' has made a difference, all the cajoling and threatening has not made a difference.
Yesterday morning Sarah was sent, as they ALL are sent each Saturday to clean her room and she SLAMMED the door.
Well much to her horror and our utter amusement the door wouldn't open again!!!!!
Absolutely hilarious and karma biting someone on the bum I think.
I did offer to slide some cheese slices under the door if her room wasn't cleaned by lunch.
It actually took about an hour to get the door open without any damage, and there has not been a single door slamming incident in the last 24 hours - fingers crossed.
Anyone I digress, this is hardly a post about my own parents because I seriously do not have the time or beverages to blog all of that crap tonight, nor is it about Danielle because at nearly 20 she is rapidly moving beyond 'teenage' though youd never guess based on some of her recent antics.
Sarah - oh dear Sarah, where to start with Sarah. Gorgeous, witty, loud, funny and 14.
Sarah is, and has ALWAYS been a door slammer. No amount of 'please don't' has made a difference, all the cajoling and threatening has not made a difference.
Yesterday morning Sarah was sent, as they ALL are sent each Saturday to clean her room and she SLAMMED the door.
Well much to her horror and our utter amusement the door wouldn't open again!!!!!
Absolutely hilarious and karma biting someone on the bum I think.
I did offer to slide some cheese slices under the door if her room wasn't cleaned by lunch.
It actually took about an hour to get the door open without any damage, and there has not been a single door slamming incident in the last 24 hours - fingers crossed.
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Milly
Milly is my Labrador cross sharpei, poor baby was a guilt gift by my husband!
I used to have a beautiful lab called Molly but we had to leave her behind when we moved, funny we managed to bring his dog though.
So he has been trying to make up for it and Milly was my birthday present last year. So she is one now, as anyone that has a lab would know a one year old lab is the silliest dog you will ever meet and Milly is NO exception to that rule.
I cant hang washing on the back line, for a start you cant get to the line anymore because of the sun baking holes along the way, some of them are booked for deep mining exploration next year she has done a really good job with them.
Should you get to the clothes line you cant hang anything out because Milly will have it whipped of in seconds and line her sun baking holes with your nice clean washing.
The rest of the yard has been reduced to dust, as all good labs must have a racetrack to run back and forth on all day, the dream of grass has long gone.
We have the highest fence in the street now because my lab is also a jumper, yep she jumps the fence to run around to the front door, Id be flattered if I thought it was because she missed me, but the big attraction is getting into the house and out the back again past the cat food! Yep Milly is completely addicted to the delicious dry whiskas cat food.
I spent a lot of time in the last year comparing her to Molly, and I suppose at times wishing I still had Molly, not entirely fair to Milly and something I am going to make a real effort to stop doing!
Tomorrow I will take some photos of her, because you know I have just realised that I don't have a single picture of her - poor Milly.
I used to have a beautiful lab called Molly but we had to leave her behind when we moved, funny we managed to bring his dog though.
So he has been trying to make up for it and Milly was my birthday present last year. So she is one now, as anyone that has a lab would know a one year old lab is the silliest dog you will ever meet and Milly is NO exception to that rule.
I cant hang washing on the back line, for a start you cant get to the line anymore because of the sun baking holes along the way, some of them are booked for deep mining exploration next year she has done a really good job with them.
Should you get to the clothes line you cant hang anything out because Milly will have it whipped of in seconds and line her sun baking holes with your nice clean washing.
The rest of the yard has been reduced to dust, as all good labs must have a racetrack to run back and forth on all day, the dream of grass has long gone.
We have the highest fence in the street now because my lab is also a jumper, yep she jumps the fence to run around to the front door, Id be flattered if I thought it was because she missed me, but the big attraction is getting into the house and out the back again past the cat food! Yep Milly is completely addicted to the delicious dry whiskas cat food.
I spent a lot of time in the last year comparing her to Molly, and I suppose at times wishing I still had Molly, not entirely fair to Milly and something I am going to make a real effort to stop doing!
Tomorrow I will take some photos of her, because you know I have just realised that I don't have a single picture of her - poor Milly.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Samantha and Jessica
For those of you that don't know I am extremely lucky to be the mother of identical twin girls Samantha and Jessica. Born at 36 weeks gestation on the 27th March 1997, by elective c-section they where a healthy 6pound5 and 5pound 5.
I was never the sort of person that thought about the possibility of having twins, in fact, when I found out I was having twins I cried for a VERY long time, something I laugh about now of course because as a great friend of mine says, you don't get the children you want, you get the children you need and Samantha and Jessica ARE exactly what I need.
They are nearly 10 now and I find this milestone a little overwhelming, where on earth has all that time gone AND have I appreciated every possible moment I can? Probably not enough as I should, and I am sure that is something I will refocus on for the next ten years now that I am not a sleep deprived mess and my life is back to a more relaxed existence with these increasingly independent children of mine.
Girls my birthday present to you is simply my love, all that I am and all that I will be is in part thanks to you. Every day with you teaches me so much about things I didn't even know I was interested in, your amazing gift to me is your incredible passion for learning about anything and everything. Your sweet natures and daily consideration of those around you is something most adults cant achieve, you are truly beautiful and I have been extremely blessed to have you in my life. I wish you everything you dream of and more, my princess and my goosey girl I will love you forever.
Here is a few quick pictures of them taken late last year for a school function, they where an absolute pleasure to get ready although the pressure was on for me to come up with the PERFECT outfit on a limited budget, thank goodness for sales!
I was never the sort of person that thought about the possibility of having twins, in fact, when I found out I was having twins I cried for a VERY long time, something I laugh about now of course because as a great friend of mine says, you don't get the children you want, you get the children you need and Samantha and Jessica ARE exactly what I need.
They are nearly 10 now and I find this milestone a little overwhelming, where on earth has all that time gone AND have I appreciated every possible moment I can? Probably not enough as I should, and I am sure that is something I will refocus on for the next ten years now that I am not a sleep deprived mess and my life is back to a more relaxed existence with these increasingly independent children of mine.
Girls my birthday present to you is simply my love, all that I am and all that I will be is in part thanks to you. Every day with you teaches me so much about things I didn't even know I was interested in, your amazing gift to me is your incredible passion for learning about anything and everything. Your sweet natures and daily consideration of those around you is something most adults cant achieve, you are truly beautiful and I have been extremely blessed to have you in my life. I wish you everything you dream of and more, my princess and my goosey girl I will love you forever.
Here is a few quick pictures of them taken late last year for a school function, they where an absolute pleasure to get ready although the pressure was on for me to come up with the PERFECT outfit on a limited budget, thank goodness for sales!
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Danielle
Danielle isn't feeling the best, not just your 'Oh Ive had a baby and now I'm blue' sort of feeling, but a deep rooted 'Oh I feel BAD' sort of feeling. It didn't surprise me, sadly Danielle has had a history of issues since she was about 12/13 and last year before falling pregnant with Bethany she was diagnosed with Bi-Polar.
We have been dealing with this episode for a couple of weeks now, watching over her and Beth, offering what support and guidance we can, staying connected I guess is the best we can do and its not easy.
In the depths of her depression she tries to push away those that love her the most, and tries to ignore the problem in the hope it will go away.
I had one of her friends, who I might add has only been a friend for the last three months or so try and tell me to leave her alone, and tell me I had no idea what I was talking about, Danielle was fine.
Well Danielle ISN'T fine, she just isn't telling THE friend that and it took all of my newly found (the 101 commandments when you join the public service make everyone behave) self control not to slap the silly little tart and throw her out of Danielle's place.
At the moment Danielle is weaning Beth so she can go back on her medication and she starts counselling again next week.
Until then I guess we continue on, doing what we can to make sure that Bethany and her are ok without being too overwhelming and taking over from her because she NEEDS to know she is still responsible, we will always be there for them both BUT this is HER responsibility and she needs to take control of her life.
Its such a delicate balance, cant do to much or she will expect it, cant do to little or you aren't supportive enough.
We have been dealing with this episode for a couple of weeks now, watching over her and Beth, offering what support and guidance we can, staying connected I guess is the best we can do and its not easy.
In the depths of her depression she tries to push away those that love her the most, and tries to ignore the problem in the hope it will go away.
I had one of her friends, who I might add has only been a friend for the last three months or so try and tell me to leave her alone, and tell me I had no idea what I was talking about, Danielle was fine.
Well Danielle ISN'T fine, she just isn't telling THE friend that and it took all of my newly found (the 101 commandments when you join the public service make everyone behave) self control not to slap the silly little tart and throw her out of Danielle's place.
At the moment Danielle is weaning Beth so she can go back on her medication and she starts counselling again next week.
Until then I guess we continue on, doing what we can to make sure that Bethany and her are ok without being too overwhelming and taking over from her because she NEEDS to know she is still responsible, we will always be there for them both BUT this is HER responsibility and she needs to take control of her life.
Its such a delicate balance, cant do to much or she will expect it, cant do to little or you aren't supportive enough.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Perfect?
We got a lovely xmas card the other day, yes I KNOW it was March, but the sender was waiting for me to email our address and as usual being the totally disorganised lacksadaisie ditzy blonde I am I hadn't done it yet.
Well it was from two of our very dear friends, and believe me I absolutely ADORE them but occasionally I am faced with the mind numbing reality that they really are just about as perfect as anyone can be.
Her enclosed letter is brilliantly and charmingly written, they are picture perfect as verified by their enclosed photo and despite having an absolute gut wrenching rotten year last year they are forging ahead into the new year with such gusto it makes me want to cry.
The letter is filled with triumphs and happiness despite such sorrow and loss and they absolutely amaze me, ok Ill admit they don't have five children and a granddaughter to worry about, just a new picture perfect puppy to look after and they both work and she is doing her Masters and he is doing a BLOODY DOUBLE DEGREE, can you imagine? Renovations are nearly complete on their gorgeous cottage in what is fast becoming one of Adelaides trendier country areas in SA and blah blah blah shall I go on or do you have the gist?
Just answer me this how AM I, just me, little old me meant to reply to such a letter?
I have tried a couple of times but it just doesn't quite make the grade how about
Hi guys,
So wonderful to hear from you, things are wonderful here as usual, the twins have only had three fights so far today and it is already 8am, Sarah only told me I was 'Gay' twice this morning and Emily bless her was playing 'house' with the Conditioner again and it all tipped down the drain just before my shower. Sam is well I packed him back of to to work last night, amazingly we only had one argument this weekend which of course was my fault - hormones you know.
Our quiet culdesac has been less so since the new neighbours moved in, their dog barks incessantly but I am relieved that their father seems to yell louder and longer than I do, he uses a much broader range of swear words as well, I really felt a little lacking after listening to him.
All the girls are doing well at school, Sarah hasn't been suspended all year and its nearly Easter break!
Our dogs are ok I see them occasionally, the cats tell me they are well,
Love to all,
xxx
Hmmmmmm dont know that will work....
Well it was from two of our very dear friends, and believe me I absolutely ADORE them but occasionally I am faced with the mind numbing reality that they really are just about as perfect as anyone can be.
Her enclosed letter is brilliantly and charmingly written, they are picture perfect as verified by their enclosed photo and despite having an absolute gut wrenching rotten year last year they are forging ahead into the new year with such gusto it makes me want to cry.
The letter is filled with triumphs and happiness despite such sorrow and loss and they absolutely amaze me, ok Ill admit they don't have five children and a granddaughter to worry about, just a new picture perfect puppy to look after and they both work and she is doing her Masters and he is doing a BLOODY DOUBLE DEGREE, can you imagine? Renovations are nearly complete on their gorgeous cottage in what is fast becoming one of Adelaides trendier country areas in SA and blah blah blah shall I go on or do you have the gist?
Just answer me this how AM I, just me, little old me meant to reply to such a letter?
I have tried a couple of times but it just doesn't quite make the grade how about
Hi guys,
So wonderful to hear from you, things are wonderful here as usual, the twins have only had three fights so far today and it is already 8am, Sarah only told me I was 'Gay' twice this morning and Emily bless her was playing 'house' with the Conditioner again and it all tipped down the drain just before my shower. Sam is well I packed him back of to to work last night, amazingly we only had one argument this weekend which of course was my fault - hormones you know.
Our quiet culdesac has been less so since the new neighbours moved in, their dog barks incessantly but I am relieved that their father seems to yell louder and longer than I do, he uses a much broader range of swear words as well, I really felt a little lacking after listening to him.
All the girls are doing well at school, Sarah hasn't been suspended all year and its nearly Easter break!
Our dogs are ok I see them occasionally, the cats tell me they are well,
Love to all,
xxx
Hmmmmmm dont know that will work....
The Lounge.....
Its a wonderful thing a new lounge, well not so new, but new to me, its changed the whole lounge room, and with it my attitude to visitors, now after 12 months of being anti-visitor I feel ready to take the plunge into the world of social!
Yes I messaged my in real life close friend Mandy and made the announcement, the house is OPEN. Poor Mandy has NEVER visited my house because I am the 'excuse' girl, busy, out, will come to you, that's me - the excuse girl, you name it Ive used it. We have been friends for nearly two years, worked together for over a year, still meet for lunch nearly every week and she has NEVER been to my house.
I of course, have been to her house dozens of times, its like my home away from home, one of those places where I feel comfortable in my own skin as soon as I walk in. And do you think she has noticed - YEAH course she has, but funny thing is that girl knows me better than I know myself at times and she would never ever try to push past the boundary that I built. That's what I like about her the most, it doesn't matter to her how silly something may seem, after all she is my friend because of me not because of my lounge or anything else, but she understands that for whatever reason it matters to me and that's enough for her I think having friends like that is pretty special.
Yes I messaged my in real life close friend Mandy and made the announcement, the house is OPEN. Poor Mandy has NEVER visited my house because I am the 'excuse' girl, busy, out, will come to you, that's me - the excuse girl, you name it Ive used it. We have been friends for nearly two years, worked together for over a year, still meet for lunch nearly every week and she has NEVER been to my house.
I of course, have been to her house dozens of times, its like my home away from home, one of those places where I feel comfortable in my own skin as soon as I walk in. And do you think she has noticed - YEAH course she has, but funny thing is that girl knows me better than I know myself at times and she would never ever try to push past the boundary that I built. That's what I like about her the most, it doesn't matter to her how silly something may seem, after all she is my friend because of me not because of my lounge or anything else, but she understands that for whatever reason it matters to me and that's enough for her I think having friends like that is pretty special.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Another Week
Is nearly at its end and I honestly don't know where the time is going. I have holidays over Easter, only 10 days but let me tell you it is absolutely the most well deserved ten days I can think of.
I am taking the younger four girls down to Hobart for the week and we are just going to kick back and relax, a day at the aquatic centre (yes cellu-lots and all), iceskating, a trip to the cadbury factory (mmmmm) and the educational part of it being a trip out to Pt Arthur for the day.
I'm thinking we will leave on the Monday and stay in Launceston on the way down, spend the day at Cataract Gorge, there is a caravan park outside of Launnie that we like staying in as they have a huge family spa you can book.
Head down to Launnie and stay T,W,T & F, head home on Saturday. Sam cant come, but you know what I am NOT going to feel guilty for a second, I really need a break.
Things have just been so hectic with work/girls/Danielle, sometimes its an effort to stop the little old head from spinning. Work is just so busy, but its a good busy because I truly LOVE working there and still wake up with a little buzz every day that I got the job, I think if its been six months and the buzz hasn't worn of that's a really good thing. Funny thing is I am still the same person as I was six months ago but my life then was being dictated by the misery I felt in my old job, in truth it was really making me depressed and grinding away at my self esteem. Now theres only the 'fat' issue and the 'past' issues to deal with, and aint that 'fat issue' a pearler because that is something that cant be fixed overnight! As for the 'past issues' oh I am sooo not ready, I wonder if I will say that till I am 50?
The girls rang me at work the other day and they where doing the normal 'dob on her before she dobs on me' thing, its no issue with my new job getting calls, I have my own number so its all good. Anyway I wrap up the call with them, and the guy that sits next to me says 'do you EVER yell or get upset with them?' And I'm like 'well yeah course' and he says 'I just cant imagine it', I was gobsmacked and pretty darn pleased he isn't a fly in the wall in my house let me tell you!!! I thought about it a lot and thought WOW, are there really parents that just don't yell? Is there anyone out there that has NEVER lost the plot and yelled? I just cant imagine it? Sometimes I will ask the girls something over and over and over and then it just bellows out before I even realise and there you have it, I HAVE yelled and guess what.....................they ALWAYS do what I ask once I have yelled. Have I, without realising, trained them to WAIT until I yell to actually do it?????
Oh I have decided I am dedicating this weekend to R&R, and in good faith have kickstarted that idea by getting all the housework done tonight, floors, vaccuming, dusting - its done!
A new book is high on my list of priorities for the weekend followed by some relaxing bath salts or something, new tweezers to attack the shabby brows and maybe a splash of colour in the hair and on the toes! A spot of clothes shopping may be the order of the day as well. I will have to take my poor puppy for a walk on the beach, I know she tends to get lonely during the week and I really SHOULD take her on the morning walks with me and the twins, but really at 5.30am I am so damn bleary I cant face a hyperactive labrador jumping all over me and doing a kamakazee lap of the house before I pin her down and get the lead on. Emily takes her for a walk every afternoon and more often then not I am bowled over by excitable labrador as I am getting of the bus each afternoon. I am often amazed that Emily can even handle her but she does seem to have more control over Milly than anyone else.
Of course no weekend would be complete without a trip to see my beautiful grand-daughter! Oh she is just an absolute treasure and I consider time with her to be R&R as well. I so wish I had just relaxed and enjoyed my own as much as I am enjoying time with Beth. I have my first official ALL WEEKEND babysitting coming up in July, I promised Danielle I would have her for the weekend of her birthday.
Here is my latest picture of the angel, with Emily (my cookie girl).
Photobucket" border="0">
I am taking the younger four girls down to Hobart for the week and we are just going to kick back and relax, a day at the aquatic centre (yes cellu-lots and all), iceskating, a trip to the cadbury factory (mmmmm) and the educational part of it being a trip out to Pt Arthur for the day.
I'm thinking we will leave on the Monday and stay in Launceston on the way down, spend the day at Cataract Gorge, there is a caravan park outside of Launnie that we like staying in as they have a huge family spa you can book.
Head down to Launnie and stay T,W,T & F, head home on Saturday. Sam cant come, but you know what I am NOT going to feel guilty for a second, I really need a break.
Things have just been so hectic with work/girls/Danielle, sometimes its an effort to stop the little old head from spinning. Work is just so busy, but its a good busy because I truly LOVE working there and still wake up with a little buzz every day that I got the job, I think if its been six months and the buzz hasn't worn of that's a really good thing. Funny thing is I am still the same person as I was six months ago but my life then was being dictated by the misery I felt in my old job, in truth it was really making me depressed and grinding away at my self esteem. Now theres only the 'fat' issue and the 'past' issues to deal with, and aint that 'fat issue' a pearler because that is something that cant be fixed overnight! As for the 'past issues' oh I am sooo not ready, I wonder if I will say that till I am 50?
The girls rang me at work the other day and they where doing the normal 'dob on her before she dobs on me' thing, its no issue with my new job getting calls, I have my own number so its all good. Anyway I wrap up the call with them, and the guy that sits next to me says 'do you EVER yell or get upset with them?' And I'm like 'well yeah course' and he says 'I just cant imagine it', I was gobsmacked and pretty darn pleased he isn't a fly in the wall in my house let me tell you!!! I thought about it a lot and thought WOW, are there really parents that just don't yell? Is there anyone out there that has NEVER lost the plot and yelled? I just cant imagine it? Sometimes I will ask the girls something over and over and over and then it just bellows out before I even realise and there you have it, I HAVE yelled and guess what.....................they ALWAYS do what I ask once I have yelled. Have I, without realising, trained them to WAIT until I yell to actually do it?????
Oh I have decided I am dedicating this weekend to R&R, and in good faith have kickstarted that idea by getting all the housework done tonight, floors, vaccuming, dusting - its done!
A new book is high on my list of priorities for the weekend followed by some relaxing bath salts or something, new tweezers to attack the shabby brows and maybe a splash of colour in the hair and on the toes! A spot of clothes shopping may be the order of the day as well. I will have to take my poor puppy for a walk on the beach, I know she tends to get lonely during the week and I really SHOULD take her on the morning walks with me and the twins, but really at 5.30am I am so damn bleary I cant face a hyperactive labrador jumping all over me and doing a kamakazee lap of the house before I pin her down and get the lead on. Emily takes her for a walk every afternoon and more often then not I am bowled over by excitable labrador as I am getting of the bus each afternoon. I am often amazed that Emily can even handle her but she does seem to have more control over Milly than anyone else.
Of course no weekend would be complete without a trip to see my beautiful grand-daughter! Oh she is just an absolute treasure and I consider time with her to be R&R as well. I so wish I had just relaxed and enjoyed my own as much as I am enjoying time with Beth. I have my first official ALL WEEKEND babysitting coming up in July, I promised Danielle I would have her for the weekend of her birthday.
Here is my latest picture of the angel, with Emily (my cookie girl).
Photobucket" border="0">Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Birthdays and time
Well its nearly my birthday, a big 35! I thought by the time I got to
35 Id be happy with who I was and comfortable in my skin but it hasn't happened yet. Maybe it will happen on Friday when I wake up.
One thing I have noticed is that TIME is travelling at a faster pace then I
ever imagined, the weeks are flying by, and in turn so are the years,
and that is just scary because before I know it I will be announcing my
40th, 50th etc etc.
It seems the older I get the quicker it is
going and I just want it to slow down. Age brings so many things with
it, its more than a new grey hair or a wrinkle, its the dawning
realisation that those around me are ageing as well.Sam's Mum and Dad are in their 70s now, my Nan in her 80s, I don't want to get to this point in my life where I am saying goodbye to people.
35 Id be happy with who I was and comfortable in my skin but it hasn't happened yet. Maybe it will happen on Friday when I wake up.
One thing I have noticed is that TIME is travelling at a faster pace then I
ever imagined, the weeks are flying by, and in turn so are the years,
and that is just scary because before I know it I will be announcing my
40th, 50th etc etc.
It seems the older I get the quicker it is
going and I just want it to slow down. Age brings so many things with
it, its more than a new grey hair or a wrinkle, its the dawning
realisation that those around me are ageing as well.Sam's Mum and Dad are in their 70s now, my Nan in her 80s, I don't want to get to this point in my life where I am saying goodbye to people.
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