Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Lessons Lessons Lessons

The wonderful thing about life is you continue to learn. Some good things, some bad. Some lessons are easy and some are hard.

The lessons I learn are usually the hard way.

I usually blame this on being blonde (dyed or not it is an excuse you can trust).

Here is my latest venture.

Picture if you can, me in my little Mitsubishi Colt AKA The Canary.

No its not a grand car, hell I try NOT to look at it too closely on the days I use it, its just my A to B and C ride.

Driving to do my groceries on Monday I was a little (ok little means clutching the steering wheel and saying fuck an awful lot)concerned to see the oil light come on.

Now I DO NOT do cars. I drive them - that is the extent of my relationship.

Hmmmm Oil.......I ponder this on the scenic drive, well Sam had just left that morning so he was no help for another five days.

I could pull in at a servo I suppose. Oh shit I am so not going to pull into a servo and look like a total twit about putting Oil in the car for christ sakes.

How hard can it be, you get oil you pour it in, I know where it goes after all sheeshhh.

Feeling slightly smug and imagining how impressed Sam is going to be with my new found car independence I get on with the important task of shopping AKA avoiding spiteful grannies ramming trolleys into my ankles because I got the last box of washing powder on this weeks super special.

Get to the oil aisle and HOLY FUCK there is a lot of oil on the market oh well it only for the canary, cheap is good.

Finish the shopping, pop oil in the car and drive home feeling pretty bloody good.

You know you can nearly hear Helen Reddy roaring 'I am Woman!!!!!

Not too long after I get home Sam rings.

Quite excited I say that I have put oil in the car.

Oh babe he says, that's great I actually forgot to do it, sorry - how much oil did you need'

Im thinking der what a daft question.

Only one bottle - yeah like Id cough up for more than one bottle for the canary right?

Sam's voice is somewhat quieter when he asks............

Babe what size bottle did you buy?

Oh the 5lt because it worked out cheaper, and just as well I say as the poor canary was obviously right out of oil because the light was on and everything I had to use the WHOLE bottle.

There is dead silence on the other end of the phone and then he starts laughing.

Laughing I tell you.

What is so funny?

Babe your car only needs 3 litres max, it sounds like you have overfilled it, don't drive it till I get home.

WTF are you talking about I say, if the car only takes 3 litres why did it let me put 5 litres in it, that is so stupid, and what do you mean I cant drive it??????

Babe you are meant to check the level on the dipstick add a little bit of oil and check it again.

WTF the whole car is a dipstick this is a bloody joke, clearly a man invented it because woman aren't quite so fucking stupid. If something is meant to take 3 fucking litres then it would be 3 litres in size - right? RIGHT!

Apparently wrong!

So take pity on me as I am carless until Friday.


Lynda said...

Are you or are you NOT blonde!! - what happened to 'oh poor little me, can you help me?" That is what i would have done... I once did it at the servo when I needed water in the wipers... and I am NOT blonde.

Lynda said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Georgie said...

That's why dipstick is a rude word in my book......
I'll chuck a pity party for you now!